Carlos (ban_pants) wrote,

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leaving, on a jet plane..

So here it is, just about 11:00 pm and I'm about to go to the airport. All i gotta say... I'm hurt. No call.. no text messege.. no lj post... didn't get online at all.. ouch. very ouch. I mean, when I very candidly say, "I'm stealing you tommorow night, because i won't get to see you for a week," and then you smile and say, "i don't have plans anyways," I mean it doesn't get any more obvious then that that i want to see you before i go.. Or at least talk to you. Know whats goin on. But no.. as it is, who knows where you are, or what you are doing, and frankly i don't know if I want to know. You can't care for me when it suits you. I'm sorry it just doesn't work that way. I mean, there are a million and one reasons why you couldn't see me tonight... I can think of very few why you couldn't take the time to return my call, or even (heres a thought) take the initative to call me yourself!

Oh, and on exastentialism.. I'll just tell you what it is in a nut shell. Exastentialism is the philosophy that people are inharently alone in the world. They are 100% free, alone, and ultimately in charge of their own destiny. For example: You can choose to be in slavery or not, however the consiquences are grave, if you choose not to be, you probably die. However, it is still your choice. Now, a true exastentialist makes an action knowing full well that whatever action they take, there will be consiquences. maybe good, maybe bad. you just have to be willing to deal with those consiquences based on your action. So, you made the choice to not get ahold of me in even the most remote of ways, barring of course, you being in the hospital, or somthing very similar, and since you made that choice, you as a human must face the consiquences, good or bad. So yeah, i'm hurt. nobody makes these choices for you. I had a good night planned for you, seeing as i wasn't gonna get to see you on your birthday. My family was having a party for my cousins, both on the 18th like you, and you were invited.. oh well. You need to show me that you want to be with me.. because this is getting really old. You control you; and no one else.

p.s. I'm still hurt.
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